Lessons From The Elderly

‘Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.’

Maurice Chevalier

Quiet. Frail. Wise. Soft. Sweet. Old.

When I worked as a medical receptionist, I always felt strangely drawn to the elderly patients that came in. They walked slowly, spoke softly, and acted kindly. It became a sign that I needed to work more closely with them; so I became an aged care worker.

I will shamefully admit, before working with this group, I held stereotypes toward them. They seemed quite serious, and a little boring. However, getting to know them on a deeper and more individual level not only proved me wrong, but allowed me to realise their great value.

Their long lives hold seeds of wisdom that are waiting to be reaped – especially with the majority of us being many years their junior.

I worked with clients over 90 – an age group directly affected by the World Wars, and had experienced great struggles and hardships. Yet, despite it all, they were unbelievably kind and unconditionally loving, and faced life and all its hardships with grace, acceptance, and gratitude. Immense gratitude.

I often asked my clients what their secret to ageing well was, and what were the most significant things they had learnt from life. Their answers were highly insightful and often deeply moving, however, I learnt the most valuable lessons from the elderly by observing how they lived, how they spoke, and how they approached life.

Here are 8 principles that I have found the elderly live by, and some insights they had shared with me:

– Slowing down: It is natural that elderly people slow down due to their mobility problems. However, I discovered that they also approach life slowly simply because it is the manner in which they live – without urgency. They enjoy the moment they are in, with who they are with, and don’t take their time for granted.
As a client once said to me: ‘Don’t rehearse your future’.

– Appreciation: Their lack of mobility does not stop them from enjoying the wonders of the world. They often shared stories experienced from their window, whether it be delighting in the slow bloom of a flower or seeing a regular morning jogger.
As a client once said to me: ‘It’s the small things you remember, not the big things’.

– Gratitude: Despite experiencing hardships in their old age, I found that elderly people seldom focus on the negative aspects of their lives. Rather, they only spoke of the positives they still had, whether that be a visit from a grandchild or the warmth gained from a hot cup of tea.
As a client once said to me: ‘There’s good and bad in the world, but focus on the good’.

– Connection: All my clients expressed the importance of human connection, speaking mostly of their loved ones in conversation with deep fondness and love. When reflecting upon the best moments of their long lives, it always came back to time spent with people.
As a client once said to me: ‘Treat everyone like family’.  

– Humour: They often shared that humour was the solution to any problem, frequently recounting personal stories with whole-hearted laughter.
As a client once said to me after the passing of her late husband: ‘You can always find humour, even in the darkest of times’.

– Acceptance: They view their life with satisfaction, acknowledging that their past was behind them, and to face the future with courage.
As a client frequently said when battling numerous health problems: ‘It’ll be alright’.

– Kindness: Whether through a soft smile or a gentle word, they express their love to every person they encounter, whether it be a neighbour, a worker, or a stranger.
As a client once said to me, ‘Be tolerable and kind to everyone’.

– Grace: They face their ageing with strength and grace, rarely self-pitying and always standing proud.
As a 94-year-old client once said to me, ‘Don’t make yourself older than you are’. 

We should not wait until old age to embody these principles. This wisdom is ours for the taking now. Just as we take legal advice from a lawyer, or turn to doctors for their health expertise, we should learn the secrets to longevity and a fuller life from those with the most experience in that area: the elderly.

I have learnt a lot working with this beautiful age group, the least of which is to remember that life was never promised to be easy, but it does end up being worth it.

Dedicated to J.B. & J.D. Rest In Peace.